Fear of Failure: Living Authentically
October 25, 2011
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Taking risks is scary. Even little risks, like paint choices or whether to use the blue paper or pink, can scare the pants off of me. I get the heebie jeebies at the thought of having to make an impulsive irreversible choice.
What if it’s wrong?
What if I waste money on it?
What if I do it the way I wish and someone makes fun of it?
These questions echo quietly in my heart and in the hearts of my dear friends who gather every once in a while to create together.
Creating is deeply personal. And as a woman with a sensitve heart, I am crushed at the slightest hint of dissatisfaction. It’s as if I put all the icky parts, all the pretty parts, all the hidden parts of me out in the world to see. When I create something, I am confident that whomever sees it will see that I am a terrible measurer- and all my pieces are slightly off centre. They can see that I am not very tidy and somehow manage to get glue all over the place. They can see that I am not very trendy and my creations are all a little homespun. They can see that I have a particlular taste for blue and more blue and white.
They can see me.
But I am learning something. It’s okay to be living authentically! The perception of perfect trend appeal just isn’t who I am- and those I bring into my home or who see my crazy office desk know who I am and it’s okay to be Elizabeth when I create!
When these feelings of panic creep into my heart, I need to do something crazy.
Doing something crazy seems to scare the scary thoughts right out of me. Like making enormous outrageous posters. Or nailing 100 tacks into the wall and making a twine mural. Or even switching out something green for bright pink.
It’s okay to live authentically. It’s okay to allow your creations to echo your heart, not the magazines. It’s okay to be who you are in your creations.
Even if it is scary.